Soft Life Lesson: Choosing Myself Was the Hardest, Yet Most Healing Thing I’ve Ever Done

I always knew I deserved a better life. That whisper inside of me never went away. But for years, my biggest fear was this: If I put myself first, what happens to everyone else?

That fear kept me trapped. I accepted things I never should have, tolerated pain I didn’t deserve, and convinced myself it was just “part of the process.” Looking back, my deepest regret is that I didn’t recognize my own value sooner.

The Mask of Strength

On the surface, I looked strong, resilient, even unshakable. People saw my business, my students, my partnerships, and thought I was thriving. But what they didn’t see was how much I hid. How much I endured. How deeply I was manipulated and abused in ways that left me grieving, even as I kept moving forward.

I poured my soul into my pole dance and aerial arts studio. It was my safe haven, my stepping stone toward the life I wanted. But instead of building me up, the very partnerships I trusted stripped me of everything I created.

Letting go felt like failure. Walking away felt like defeat. And yet—it was the only choice I had left.

The Grief and the Lesson

Leaving that chapter of my life broke me open. I fell into grief, depression, and health struggles. I carried the weight of it all, both physically and emotionally.

But here’s the truth I discovered in the darkness: the life I was fighting so hard to hold onto wasn’t actually mine. It was a life built on sacrifice, survival, and self-neglect.

Sometimes the very thing we’re afraid to release is the thing blocking us from peace.

Reclaiming My Soft Life

The lesson? My worth does not come from what I give to others. My value is not measured by how many people depend on me. My softness, my joy, and my future belong to me.

Just because I’m not teaching doesn’t mean I’m not doing. Just because I’m not publicly sharing doesn’t mean I’m not building community. I am—but now it’s on my terms.

And that’s what living a soft life is all about. It’s giving yourself permission to choose you. To move at your own pace. To build, love, and create from a place of peace, not pressure.

A Gentle Reminder for You

If you’re reading this and you’ve been carrying everyone else’s needs while neglecting your own—hear me: putting yourself first is not selfish. It’s sacred.

Sometimes walking away isn’t failure—it’s freedom. And sometimes the softest, most beautiful thing you can do for yourself is say: my life, my terms, my peace